TOP TEN REASONS TO WEAR HISTORIC VESTMENTS
10. IT’S TIME TO BUY!!! Time to buy a half dozen of them Almy tab-shirts! Since out-sourcing their factories to Botswana Almy can now sell their shirts for only $99 bucks a piece. Wotta Steal!
9. The Amice and rolled Alb collar completely cover your Guns N’ Roses tattoo.
8. Sure, you’ve got that pristine collection of polyester leisure suits in the closet, but some of them pants make your ass look huge.
7. When the DiP shows up for Mass, a real quick turn at the rail can lay a mean maniple slap right across his mug.
6. Even if the boomers in the parish succeed in getting a Plexiglas lectern, you still won’t have to wear pants!
5. As a “point of Confession,” show them Episcopalians there are reasons, other than homosexuality, to wear lace!
4. You’ve just had a thing for cinctures ever since seeing Friar Tuck in The Adventures of Robin Hood.
3. The Chi Ro and IHC on the back of them pretty chasubles give you another chance to show off your Greek.
2. I’ve seen the Jokers, Riddlers, Mr. Freezes and Egg Heads in your parish; you need a Cape, or at least a Cope!
AND DRUM ROLL ....
1, Two Words: “Pointy Hats”