THE TOP FIVE REASONS THE SAXON LUTHERANS GOT OFF TO A VERY, VERY BAD START
5. A crypto Montanist woman among the Perry County settlers said that someday, the initials “L.C.M.S” would mean: liberals praying with charismatics, Muslims and Sikhs. She was laughed out of the assembly.
4. Even back in 1837, them Deutsch had a weird preoccupation with color schemes and logos. Irving Walther pushed for a salmon colored upside down ankh as the synod’s first official seal.
3. In the not-as-famous and under-reported Altenburg Rumble, not only did Vehse defeat Walther again in verbal jousting, but beat him like a pinata during their boxing match (9th round TKO).
2. During the up-river Mississippi barge rides, all (ALL) of the Saxon’s beer and schnapps supplies were lost in a raid by river boat pirates.
[ Drum Roll Please]
And the NUMBER ONE REASON the Saxon Lutherans Got Off To A Very, Very Bad Start:
1. Bishop Stephan’s Mitre, being way too large for CFW’s tiny pin-head, Walther reluctantly said: “screw it…let’s go with the goof-ball mob democracy gambit.”