TOP TEN IDEAS
TO MAKE YOUR CATECHESIS BETTER
10. Every time one of your students gets the
right answer put on your
Luther hat and yell “Wunderbar!”
9. Let every kid who starts genuflecting during The Creed at Sunday’s
Mass skip turning in those pesky “sermon studies” (sic).
8. Reassure them that if they miss the
correct answer during their final
public questioning (i.e. ‘dog
& pony show’) you’ll ask the same
question to one of the adults attending
that you know doesn’t have
a prayer in getting it right.
7. Sure you’ve told them you know Greek and
Hebrew (thus
necessitating another visit to your
Father Confessor), but they
won’t be ready for that whole hour in
pig-Latin.
6. Threaten them that the first one to call
The Reformer “Dr. Martin
Luther King” gets two
additional years of Wednesday nights!
5. Kill two birds with one stone: When
illustrating to them the
typological meaning of Joshua’s
destruction of Jericho, go
‘Samson’
on the LWML display in the narthex and send it flying!
4. Promise that any kid who continually “cuts up” in class will
have his home “Confirmation-Sunday Party” visited by you and
several clowns with balloon animals.
3. When teaching the 6th
Commandment (which you explain is
really the ‘Sexth’ Commandment) use those special “Children
Protection Services” dolls.
2. Explain why Anglo-Saxon profanities are not
really what
the 3rd Commandment is all
about, by utilizing the Rap lyrics of
DMX and Eminem.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE
And the Number One
IDEA TO MAKE
YOUR CATECHESIS BETTER
1. Pack all the CPH stuff away and just use The
Small Catechism.
I recommend asking the child (or adult), the very first day of instruction, as to who is the head of his or her household. This will promptly identify who is truly wearing the pants in the family. Then, with this information in hand, formally threaten the "head" with a public disclosure of how really good the household support has been for the faithful treading of the ox., via means of Idea #8 (above) on "dog-and-pony" show-day.
ReplyDeleteAdvantage: This pressure could promote the transfer/release of a querulous and overbearing, self-assigned lay "head of the local church."
Disadvantages:
1. Among the VehseQuesters, the ox has been muzzled and beaten to a pulp, with a SOLID cane, long ago.
2. This may not work all that well, north of the English "Lake District," or even the English District, among those with names prefixed by "Mac." Like, say, M[a]cKenzie.
Or Burns. Like George Burns.
Okay, so I didn't say this idea was perfect. "Say goodnight, Gracie."
Your (unworthy) servant,
Herr Doktor