Μεγαλύνει ἡ ψυχή μου τὸν Κύριον [Luke 1. 46b]

Sunday, June 29, 2014

TOP TEN REASONS YOU SHOULD BE CALLED "FATHER"

TOP TEN REASONS YOUR PARISHIONERS MIGHT CONSIDER ON THEIR WAY TO CALLING YOU “FATHER”

10.   Well, you do have children.

9.     The VBS “ditty” (aka ‘child-action song’) is “Father
         Abraham” and not Pastor Abraham. AND, if hades
         occupant Dives can use the term, so can Grandma
         Schmitt [c.f. Luke 16.24].

8.      German-American Lutherans who are also
         conservative GOP-types, are always so eager
         to follow Scandinavian practices.

7.      Your detractors can spit it out at you with the certitude
          that it might hasten your “swimming of the Tiber.”

6.       It will give “Carl Vehse” more grist for his
          Voter Assembly Quest posts.

5.       Gottesdienst does it….and EVERYONE knows how
          much weight & influence it has in the Synod (sic)!

4.       It will get you free cups of coffee when you make
          hospital visits to Saint Charles Borromeo Medical Center.

3.       “P”r….”F”r…what’s one small letter among friends?

2.       Luthers Large Catechism Part I. The Ten Commandments
          4th Commandment, section 416, paragraph 158, Jacobs
          page 415 BOOK OF CONCORD (you know, our
          Symbols!)

And the NUMER ONE REASON your parishioner might consider

on their way to calling you “Father”……………

 

1.      That ELCA priestitute down the street? Sure she does a
          whole lot of stuff better than you do, but ain’t NO WAY
          she’s ever going to be “Father!”

1 comment:

  1. Concerning Reason Primum: it's powerful and compelling ... but sorry to say, there's always surgery.

    But on second thought, appearances alone do not necessarily furnish a functional endorsement or blessing.

    I relish No. 8. Or maybe my genes do. The Gesellschaft of the Saxons was originally quite taken with the Swedish episcopacy, praising it highly in several of its documents and decretals, as historian Forster documents In "Zion on the Mississippi." Once breaking the seal of confidentiality in their Absolution sacrament, rioting, and excommunicating a fallen human being through the dubious means of a shadowy "Council," however, the Saxons became ever-confused, ill, starved and discouraged ... and a bit crazed, necessarily. The results Dr. Keys' Minnesota Semi-Starvation Study at the close of WWII, provides a scientific basis for such failing. Thence, the troubled and frightened Saxons came to heed the voice of an officious layman, a bully who castigated the clergy and actively cheer-leaded the riot, mentioned above.

    The layman, predictably, eventually came to abandon the collegially starving and despairing immigrant-nation, for a one-way return ticket to Saxony (an entity once seen by him as Godless, and beyond hope and redemption); and thus to secure a job, financial ease and an eventual veneration, if not deification, amongst the rabid patrons of Voters'AssemblyJest.

    Of course, I digress. However, Lutherans may well recall that on his very deathbed, blessed Martin Luther did not blanch for one moment from being addressed "reverend father," by Dr. Jonas ("Life of Luther," Gustav Just, Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis, 1903, p. 94) . This again, accepted mere moments before Luther was scheduled to meet his Maker, Redeemer and Son of the Father! If rambunctious Mr. Vehse's Council (or Jest) were really sincere in its beliefs, they would dismiss Jonas and the dying Reformer for a disturbing disobedience to the Lord's advisory of Mt 23 ... at least, as the glowering pietists interpret such.

    I enjoyed the rich dessert, Fr. Jay! It keeps me laughing, and not incidentally, from starving.


    ReplyDelete